Marshmallow man

Last night my daughter texted me one of those forward to 10 of your friends chain messages. Normally I don't. I think they are silly and a waste of time. This one was a little marshmallow puff looking little thing holding a sign that reads "I (heart) U" while Rhianna's "Take a Bow" played. The message was a reminder that you never know what's gonna happen and what would you do if your best friend died tomorrow. Basically, that if you haven't told someone you love them in a while you should. Given recent events, this one struck a cord with me. So I buzzed it off to 10 people I hadn't had a chance to really talk to in a while.

About 1 am I got a message back from my friend V. We used to work together back in Copperas Cove before she had to relocate. Her husband is active military stationed overseas. Anyway, after a few messages back in forth she kept asking me how I was doing. For some reason she just wasn't convinced that I was okay. Of course I told her I was fine.

This of course isn't entirely accurate. I'm about as stressed out as I can get. I'm still doing the unemployment thing. Been putting in upwards of 200 applications thus far and have had a handful of interviews. Unfortunately, I keep hearing the same thing - "You're what we're looking for but we aren't gonna bring anyone new on until after the first of the year." Seriously!!! My unemployment was denied because I quit to move. Rent is due and my car payment is past due. I'm slowly getting more and more behind. Of course I'm not gonna tell her that. I didn't send it to her to complain. Just wanted to let her know I was thinking about her.

So after a few more messages back and forth she finally tells me that she had a miscarriage in June and that her husband is having a physical/emotional affair with someone else. My heart just sank for her. How do you respond to something like that? I'm sorry seems so insincere and meaningless. She's young with children and married to someone who obviously is not as vested in their marriage as she is. I didn't know what to say except that I was only a phone call away if she needed a shoulder to cry on.

And it got me thinking. It made me realize just how selfish I am. I sit here day after day and worry about me. Don't get me wrong, I don't think most people would fault me for focusing on getting my shit together so I'm not living in my car. But it's so easy to forget that other people have problems too. It's too easy to get into that mindset that "everything is happening to me and no one else understands what I'm are going through". Every once in a while I think we all need reminding that there are people who are worse off than we are and we just need to be thankful for what we have. We need to take the time to remind each other that someone gives a damn because we never know what the future holds. Sometimes that reminder comes in a little text message with a little marshmallow man.

Echo to Nola

They say you can't go back again, and I guess it's true. The last time I was here I came with my best friend, Rabbit, and it was an adventure. The details of which will be told in detail at another time.

This time I decided to go it alone. For the past year, Rabbit and I had shared a motel room in a po-dung little town in the middle of central Texas. At least until he got sick and had to move home. LOVE YA RABBIT! I have been wanting to venture back to the Big Easy for a while but just never had the opportunity. So, of course, once the stars aligned and the Gods smiled down I decided to pile everything I possibly could into my little Echo and hit the road. YEAH ROAD TRIP!!!

Now the fact that I had been living in a motel should mean that moving would be easy right? It would if I didn't mind moving so much. Actually, it's not the moving I hate so much as the packing. It took me what seemed like forever to pack. Not because I had that much stuff. But because I had to fit it all in my car. Now I don't know if you have ever seen a Toyota Echo, but it's not exactly the most spacious of roller skates. It was like playing Jenga to make everything fit. One wrong move and my trunk was ready to pop open spewing forth a plethra of princess pumps and whatnot. Good think I know how to pack like a drag queen.

Ok, the car is packed and I've said my good-byes. Alright, my fuck you's. I'm ready to hit the road right. Um no. What are you thinging? I had to get my nails done first. I couldn't come to New Orleans with ugly nails. And nothing beats Sonic for a road trip so I had to grab dinner before I left. Yeah I said dinner. By the time I finally pulled out of town it was almost 8pm. Good thing I like to drive at night.

Now since I was travelling alone I plugged in my trip into the GPS on my phone. I figured between that and the Google maps I printed off there was no way I could get lost. And I was wrong. Google maps are a fuck fest if you don't know where the turns are they are telling you to take. Oh they give you the street name just fine. They just don't bother to tell you the town. Take a left on Main street, go 5 miles and turn right. Yeah that's helpful. And GPS is only as good as the signal the phone gets. Long story short, I got lost in Bryan/College Station Texas. But being a girl I did the girly thing. I stopped and asked for directions.

Boy was that a hoot. Google map in hand, I stroll into the first gas station that I wasn't afraid of getting mugged or hepatitis in. I walk up to the guy (yeah it had to be a guy) behind the counter to see if he know here such-and-such was that went to Beaumont. Now Beaumont is not a small place ya'll. So you figure the locals would know where it is or the very least have seen a sign pointing the way like yellow brick road led to Oz. Of course, he had NO clue what I was talking about. Dejected and lost, I figure I'll just keep driving then this other guy comes in to pay for gas. The clerk, doing a very un-dudely thing, asks if he knows how to get to Beaumont. Color me ecstatic he does. He then procedes to rattle of a set of direction that sounds like a redneck joke. Now I see who writes the directions for Google maps. But I get enough of a clue to point me in, I hope, the right direction. Hooray, back on track and chugging on down the road.

By the time I get to the next town, it's late, I'm tired, and my car was getting cranky. Mind you I have never driven her more than say 20 miles at a time and never over 60 mph. Needless to say she wasn't happy. And hell, I'm not in a hurry, so why not grab a room for the night and finish up the trip tomorrow. At least the room was nice.

Bright and early the next day, getting ready to pull out and my check engine light comes on. FUCK! Of course I start worrying if I'm even gonna make it now. If I didn't pray before I was certainly gonna start now. It goes off, everything should be all good. Until the Texas State Trooper pulls me over. DOUBLE FUCK!! I really start praying that I don't have any outstanding warrants I don't know about. That there are no drugs hidden in the car I didn't find after I bought it. All I could see was my face on some America's Stupidest Criminals tv show. My brain was screaming "I DON'T WANNA GO TO JAIL!". Well the trooper walks up to the car and in typical trooper fashion asked "Do you know why I pulled you over?" Like I would say "yeah" if I did. He tells me he pulled me over because my front license plate is in my front window and not mounted to the car. WHAT?!?!?! Of all the bullshit reasons to pull someone over. Thank goodness I got away with only a warning. (PS The plate is still in my window. It's that big white spot.)

After a mild heart attack, it was back on the road. At least during the day I get a little scenery. Too bad my fellow travelers weren't as keen on the sights as I was. They blew past me like I was standing still. At least they waved as they went past. Then it happened. About 5 to 10 minutes west of Beaumont my car fell out of gear. Oh crap! Now what. I'd put it back in gear it would fall out again. So what is a girl to do when she's afraid she's about to leave her transmission on the highway. She calls her mom.

Now my mom is not your typical mom. She did a stint as a grease monkey so she knows a thing or two about cars. She tells me to turn off the A/C then limp it to town so if it does fall apart I'm not in the middle of nowhere. Um ok. Don't see the connection but I'll give it a shot. Well what do ya know. It worked. My little bitch of a car had decided that I could either have air conditioning or 4th gear just not both. Needless to say I spent the afternoon inside a lovely little cafe nursing my $5 mocha until the sun started going down. Mess with me will ya.

I finally made it into New Orleans about 2am that night. And wouldn't you know it I did the same thing then that I had done 14 years earlier. Driving up and down Airline Highway looking for a place to stay that wasn't gonna cost me a fortune.

I'm older now and hopefully a little wiser. I'm trying desperately to not repeat the mistakes I made the last time. But I know this much, New Orleans changed me the last time I was here. I'm curious to see what she has in store for me this time.